icjesus's Xanga

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:06:21 GMT

I should probably post this on twitter instead... Nah.

These updates are short enough where I could have just posted via Twitter. But as I've been MIA on Xanga these days, might as well just post them here instead.

My sleeping habits are sooo messed up right now. Makes things worse when my brother does the same, so we're basically affirming each other's actions. Need to get this fixed.

My website has been down for the past week. My domain name is currently being transferred to another registrar.

Going out with my eHarmony date later tonight; meeting her in person for the first time. This is probably the equivalent to a blind date, set up by the internet. First date jitters right now.

A few weeks ago, we were at my aunt's house, and my family was talking about my hair, which has grown long once again. As you may or may not know, I've had my hair style change various times, ranging from bald to long (just shy of a short ponytail). I got various reactions to what they thought looked best on me. I have long hair right now because I'm rather lazy when it comes to getting my hair cut. If I had my way, I'd rather just do a buzz cut and not have to deal with it. Maybe I'll care more if I had a girlfriend...

Selling off some old DVDs online for chump change. Perhaps I'd make better results by doing a garage sale...

The Wii is overrated. Have you ever tried surfing the web with it? Awful! I've been going back to my old PS2 for my gaming needs. Should have gotten a Xbox360 instead.

Okay, gotta go.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:13:28 GMT

The strike is over

For those of you wondering where I've been for the past few months, away from my blog... Was I going on strike? Did I give up on my blog?

Well, I've been here. Just too lazy to write. There was a blog on my website as well, which I abandoned once I figured that I had nothing left to talk about. But I've never once thought about abandoning my Xanga.

There is another reason for not writing for some time. Sometimes you just burn out from writing so much. In my case, it was due to emails. For the few of you who have ever received personal messages from me, I pretty much write the same length as regular blogs, but perhaps even longer and in further detail. So rather than repeating and omitting certain parts, I sacrificed the blog for the sake of actual communications with someone else one-on-one via email.

So who is it that I'm writing to? There are only a few people that I've written emails on a regular basis, and both of whom no longer do so. [Lazy bastards.] *haha* I kid. For those of you who remember early this summer, I had mentioned that I had signed up for eHarmony. Well, the subscription ended at the end of August, but I still am in communications with one girl. I'm surprised as anyone that we've been talking since the beginning of August.

Would be be strange seeing me with a caucasian girl? And for the record, she is. I wonder if the culture shock would make such a relationship awkward... There really isn't much to update you guys on. We've yet to meet in person, though we may do so sometime before the end of the year. What makes it terribly difficult is that we live a few hours apart, distance-wise.

You're probably wondering, "What does she look like?" Not telling. Though for those of you who know me well enough, you'll find out one way or another. Moving on...

Is there anything that I should ask her about that I should know? I mean, what kind of things do I need to know to make a relationship start? I really hope that I don't come out sounding overly ambitious. I think I have a tendency to sound like I'm rushing into things. I'm clingy and needy in nature. Hopefully I didn't jinx myself by writing about this. *knock on wood* If I do, I blame you all!!!

I listen to a podcast of the Tony Kornheiser show, which I absolutely love. Been listening to it since last year. Mr. Tony is the co-host to the ESPN show PTI, so there's talk about sports. But he uses his radio show (which is the podcast) as his means to talk about events and topics of his choosing. When American Idol is on, he'll talk about that. His personality makes the show witty and serious at the same time...

Anyways, last week he was talking about an article that one of his regular radio contributors, Tracy Hamilton, wrote. She started talking about the Erin Andrews situation about being stalked, and then went on to her own personal experience about being stalked. It gives a lot of perspective hearing it from a victim. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but you really have to feel empathy for those that go through such trauma where they no longer can feel safe anywhere. And perhaps it's a lesson for many guys as to know a sense of self-control and awareness of their actions so that pursuing someone never goes to such lengths.

Onto happier news, I've found the appeal in the series "One Piece." A while ago, they had shown it on television, but I really got sick of it because of the bad English dub and theme song. But if you can get past the horrible theme song and first few episodes [watching in the original Japanese dub], it's pretty good. It's like Naruto... which I suppose is one reason why they have the whole pirates vs. ninja debate. I love how this series has been on for 10 years, and how the crew has continued to grow. My favorite characters right now are Franky, Chopper, and Luffy. Oh, and Sogeking. *haha* Love his theme song!

The latest interesting site that I've found: Listal.com. It's a website community that makes lists (or rankings) off your interests, like in movies, actors, books, authors, musicians, and such. It's addicting.

That's all for now. See ya!

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:46:31 GMT

I don't want to talk about it.

Some things happened today (Friday), but I'd rather not talk about it. I like to stay somewhat positive. I'm also prone to delay bad news till absolutely necessary (I suppose that's a form of procrastination and passive aggressive behavior). But to sum up: got a traffic ticket for doing a California stop on my way to a commercial photoshoot, which made me late. Now I have to go to court. *sigh* I was upset the whole time during the shoot. I'll also admit that the male model that we had wasn't terribly good. [To my credit, he wasn't my choice for a model, but the client's.] A model has looks, a good model knows how to pose in a natural fashion, and a great model just is (you'll know it when you see it).

What can I talk about? I just bought a 3 day pass to Anime Vegas, which is an anime convention held at the Cashmen Center near downtown Las Vegas. Yes, it's merely an excuse to get away and go to Vegas. I'll be going alone, but I wouldn't be surprised if I saw someone I know there. Otaku tend to think alike. Now I have to look for a hotel. Why do I have the feeling I've done this before... oh yeah, I was just in Vegas earlier this year for a photography convention.

I got a thank you card from a repeat client. How nice! In the card, they say how awesome the photos will turn out and such, but they haven't even seen them. So it feels somewhat superficial, but the gesture is appreciated.

I mentioned that I wouldn't be using Facebook as much now. [Jerry says that's rather arrogant, forcing people to find me. To that I say... eh, whatever.] My FB is connected to my FriendFeed, which shares all my online activities, so even if I'm not using it directly, my activities are still posting on my page. I still visit daily, but have begun to see spurts of one or two days when I stay far, far away. It's helped me get motivated to blog more. I've been using StumbleUpon lately, which shows random sites based off general topics that you're interested in. Found some nice photography and travel sites through there, and I've been sharing some links via Twitter.

Almost 2am right now. Getting hungry. I think I'll go eat some corn flakes as a late night snack.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 08:51:49 GMT

Droppings? Did you say droppings?

So hot... so hot... so hot. I can't think right now. Brain is melting.

So I'm waiting for class to start in about an hour from now. And as I wait here at home, I figure I'd blog. Might as well be somewhat productive, right? I'm not supposed to be on Facebook (as that's even less productive), so here I am!

Yesterday I was talking to some NY cousins via Skype (go get it, people!). Usually we talk about randomness. That's family for ya. I mentioned that I was [still] online dating. If you may have recalled, I've tried it before, at the end of 2007 as a new year's resolution. Overall, I'll have to say that there isn't much to talk about as far as I'm concerned. I'm still single, but at least it's an effort.

The discussion soon goes to what types of photos I should be posting up. They chose this one photo that I thought was horrendous, but they said things like "it's the imperfections that make it perfect" and other nonsense like that. But apparently I have a rather dull fashion sense, so perhaps they're right.

We also talk about last names. And as you may well know, my last name is rather... particular. Kingsley came up with an analysis that you need a name with multiple syllables to make it sound decent. Or they need to have a Chinese name. Wouldn't it suck if girls wouldn't date me because of my last name? That'd be a downer.

Yeah, that's all I'm going to share about our conversation. Gotta keep things private.

Dropped by my cousin Pat's house to pick up some items that I've stored in their garage. Mostly photo background equipment. I rarely use it. I have photoshoot in the morning so I finally get to use it. Unfortunately it's been a while since I've last used it, and it was covered in cobwebs and rat feces. It was rather nasty. I have two muslin backgrounds which I'll have to take to a launrdomat. I'm not sure if I can save the white one, as there looked to be urine stains on it... *shivers*

I'm so torn. I REALLY want to go to Anime Vegas. But it's not like I'm rolling in the dough. [More like rat droppings.] Today's the last day before they raise the price on admission. Sure, it's only $10 difference, but this is a guy that doesn't know when his next form of income is coming...

Well, it's time for bed. Night folks.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:46:10 GMT

I need to cut off my face.

As you may know, I have gamer's addiction. Yes, I'm serious. Once I start a game, it's hard for me to stop. It's counterproductive. And these days, Facebook is part of the problem. Short-term solution would be to say I'm not playing games on FB, but the long-term solution would be to cut out FB altogether (not by deleting the account, but simply not visiting the site daily).

Now that I [should] have more free time, I can focus more on other things... like blogging and tweeting. It's certainly has been a while since my last posting. Though to be honest, there hasn't been much going on to blog about.

My website blog. I have no idea what to talk about on there. At least on here I can just ramble, but that one... I just posted this experimental photo on there. I forget the proper term for this technique... polar panoramic? One person called it creating planets.

I've always had hairy legs. I've never been one to complain, but I'm starting to get some stray hairs and odd hair patches. Would it be weird if I decided to shave my legs? I wouldn't do it regularly, but I dunno. I feel like I need to do something about it, but without making my legs look terribly awkward.

So Anime Expo ended earlier this month... it's sad that it's all over. One of the few things I look forward to each year. It's when I'm amongst my own people; geeks and social outcasts. So I'm going through withdrawal right now. I feel like going to another one. There are a few small ones around LA in the upcoming months. I've never attended those, but may consider going this year. The one I'm seriously considering is going to Anime Vegas. Road trip! Now you may be asking yourself, "Patrick, how are you going to pay for all this when you're always saying your jobless." True. But I have rewards points from my AMEX card which I can redeem toward hotel fees, in this case, casino hotel fees. So that just leaves food, gas, admission, and spending money... Dang, that's a lot of money. *sigh* Well, maybe I won't go. Or maybe I can scrape some money to go...

I've been emailing with an editor. They're trying to start this cosplay magazine publication, and they're asking for submissions. Unfortunately there are no paid gigs, but perhaps this will be a chance to get some publicity, so we'll see. Plus, it'll give me an excuse to go to more conventions.

Looking into online language courses. Found one called edufire.com. Actually it's more than languages, but various topics and such as well. I just want to find a good site that'll teach me Chinese. I'd love to learn Mandarin through studying lyrics of songs. I wish someone will do that. Can't use Jay Chou songs apparently, for I hear he slurs and makes up words in his songs.

Ants are invading the house. Mainly in the kitchen area.

Well, that's all for now. Time for bed.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 14:59:40 GMT

Ew.

Quick entry for now. Been waking up early for the past 2 days. Don't know how long that'll last, but we'll see. It is a good habit. I have tons of bad ones...

Anyways, I just took a shower. Also the past few days, my hands have constantly been feeling icky and I don't know why. It's probably a result of my oily complexion, but my hands aren't always feeling this nasty. So it has to be something else...

I have bad habits, particularly hygiene. I don't shower before bed. I rarely shave. There are days when I sleep with the clothes I've been wearing all day, other days when I'm sleeping just in boxers and socks (ala the George Costanza portrait). I eat before I go to bed.

Yesterday I got those plastic knobs that keep the glasses on my face (what are they called?!) replaced, as the grease from my face had turned them green. Yeah, pretty disgusting.

I need to buy some sanitation wipes, which I'll probably do right after I finish this entry. Just typing on my keyboard is making my hands feel gross. Probably wipe stuff off around the house, as well as in the car... I'll probably change bedsheets. What else... Clean my glasses.

I just shaved today. I need to buy new razorblades. Those whiskers attract a lot of facial and food oil.

Yep. That's all I have to say about that. For now. Wow, this entry is longer than I expected... I could just keep writing, but my hands are getting rather disgusting. Off to CVS.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:32:03 GMT

Yummy!

The other day as I was coming home from shooting a graduation, I decided to check out Frank Bonelli Park. I've always passed by the area on my commute to Cal Poly Pomona for years. So I went in just to take a look. 8 bucks for parking... It's essentially a lake and park. Since you have to pay, there isn't as many people. Then again, it was also a weekday. The hillsides are all brown with dead vegetation. Perhaps that would explain what I just saw... a squirrel was eating roadkill. One of their own. Wow, resorting to cannibalism.

Anyways, graduation season is over, and once again I find myself without a job. *sigh* Freelancing sucks. Or I should probably say that I suck at freelancing. I keep wondering if I'm overcharging when people ask for quotes, but every gig that I do get ends up paying too little. It's just freakishly difficult...

I made chili for Father's Day. Perhaps the hottest I've ever made it. While my intent was to make it hot, you want to have a variation of flavours, which I didn't get to do. I was going to put in some serrano peppers too, but I had put oo much chili powder and red peppers... I also played around with the quantity levels. Added an additional can of chili beans and another pack of meat into it. I cooked it on high too long, and a lot of the beans turned to mush. Oh well, live and learn. I had made enough to last me 2 days later... It was less spicy as I ate it after that Sunday, but no less "potent" as far as gas and bathroom usage.

A while back I heard about this adult school that taught photography. The price point was good too. Now, it's not comparable to any private photography program like Brooks Institute, but that's not what I'm looking for. I just want to get my feet wet into studio photography and other fields that need tweaking. And it's only 8 week quarters, so it's not too time intensive. Grades don't really matter in adult schools, so if I do find a job or gig, I can skip a class with little worries. As expected of an adult school, a lot of the students are older. Some probably retired or moms looking for a hobby. There are a few in attendance that are around my age, so it's not too awkward.

Anyways, it's opening week for the summer session, so I'll be checking out the courses they're offering. If it goes according to my plan, I'll be taking 2 courses on Monday, 1 on Tuesday, 2 on Wednesday, 2 on Thursday, and one on Sunday (it works perfectly with church since I go to evening service).

Last night I finally made my business card and sent it in to be printed. As I wait for the next week for the cards to come in, I should start prepping a letterhead and cover letter. My plan is to write basic services that I can offer to my neighbors, and just drop them in the mailbox along with my business card. It's not considered solicitation as it is just junk mail, but we'll see how that pans out.

These past few weeks I've spent WAY too much on photographic equipment. I've had to repair my telephoto lens, buy a replacement flash, buy a medium zoom lens, and various other lighting equipment. I just got my credit card statement... but none of those purchases were listed on it, so I'm quite frightened next month. If I don't drum up some income soon, look for me to be disowned and out on the streets.

The wonders of the internet are amazing. I can location scout online. And while I won't know specific spots to shoot or lighting conditions, it gives me a great range to find hidden gems. Unfortunately, many of these gems are far... and with gas prices the way they are... Maybe I'll just go scouting just once a month.

Well, gotta run... er, drive to class. Later!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:06:21 GMT

Zoo in my Pants

It's around 3:30am right now. I went to bed pretty early after a horrible day shooting at this high school graduation. Everything was so chaotic. Soooo tired, and I went to bed right after dinner. Regretting that now, as I woke up a few hours later, with my digestive system sounding like a zoo. Weird growls coming out of there. Not good. Hopefully I won't have to go to the bathroom again, but not counting on that. So I'm basically waiting till my stomach settles before heading back to bed. And so here I am.

I had some things to say, as it's been a while since I last blogged, but I can't recall a thing at the moment... Let's check the twitter feed. Maybe I'll remember.

In an effort to be more productive, I checked out the revamped Monrovia Library the other day. Sure, it's still small, but it sure does look nice now. One note of caution, don't wear boots inside. I think the floors are made out of mice because it was squeaking all the time.

AT&T is dropping the ball with Apple. The new iPhone 3Gs looks pretty cool. Seriously, why are they ruining everything? You're the reason why I don't have an iPhone. I really wish the rumor about a different Apple phone with Verizon would be true... Alas, a guy can only dream.

Canker sore in my mouth. Hurts like crazy. I used to get these all the time as a child. Perhaps one of many reasons why I'm a quiet person. Like a form of negative reinforcement.

So I was at a different graduation the other day. There was this one lady... ugh, she had such a power trip. Seemed like she was everywhere. Kicked me out of one location that I was trying to photograph. Aside from her, the day went relatively well. Most of the graduations that I've been shooting lately have been in San Bernardino, which I've rarely ever gone to visited prior to taking this seasonal contracting job. A nice excuse to leave the house and see new places. And since most of the graduations end in the evening, I get a nice peaceful drive back home. I love driving at night. The night sky. The open road. Me and my tunes.

Okay, well I think my stomach has settled down. Time for bed.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tue, 26 May 2009 08:58:04 GMT

Pretty much the usual.

I'm officially stucked into the whole tweeting thing. Twitter. I've had an account for a while, jumped on it to see what the hype was about, and then forgot about it. I told myself that I probably wouldn't use it because I don't update my status on my cellphone (I'm totally against texting). But then Facebook decided to copy Twitter, another change to the interface that seems to turn me off with every revision they do. So I decided that instead of using the imitator, I might as well use the real thing. And with a desktop app like TweetDeck, things just started to click for me. Now, most of the people I follow aren't friends, because frankly, most of you are boring. Most of the people I follow are podcasters and sports reporters. Oh, and the Governator (I'm pretty sure it's some intern, but I read the tweets with his voice in my head). So that's Twitter, and how I use it.

I got the contract job that my friend Albert referred me to. I'll be shooting a wedding on November 21st. I'm undercharging for sure... Deeply troubling. But then again, they pretty much hired me without seeing many of my wedding shots. So it was mainly from my portfolio works, creative vision, and word of mouth. The pressure's on now! Still think I'm undercharging though...

It's time I sent in one of my lenses in for cleaning and repair. I feel a massive charge on my credit card... The graduation gig that I have right now isn't paying much. Deeply troubling. I'm going to need to get some part time work to hold me over. I'm pretty much living off the tax refund right now, and that's not going to last.

Onto some more upbeat news... umm...

Oh, my cousin Justin and his wife Carol just had their second baby girl named Poem. They come up with the most unique names. Do girls get picked on at school, or is that mainly a guy thing? No, I'm asking seriously. I got picked on to no end because of this last name of mine. It's a miracle that I've grown up relatively sane.

Trying to get money any way I can. I think it's time I sell some books off eBay. I've tried that before, but I find that I don't make any profit at all. Shipping itself is a killer. I guess I could sell off some old DVDs and CDs, but FYE doesn't really give much for them. Then again, I'm looking at this credit card bill...

Internet itself costs about $35. Alas, the cost of high speed connectivity with the world.

If I'm seriously going to go into business as an independent photographer, I'm going to have to get insurance... which I can't afford right now. *sigh* I really don't see making any profit this year. Everything's going to go to expenses or to the business itself.

Memorial Day weekend was rather... blah. I'm not saying that as an insult for our veterans or fallen soldiers. I just didn't know what to do. Did some errands. Went to church. Attempted to have an online moment of silence for the fallen troops... somewhat successful. Mainly stayed at home.

I want a new cellphone. I dream of the Palm Pre, but then the price of the phone shakes me back into reality. I just want a phone that I can receive in and call out. THAT'S IT! Perhaps one of those pay-as-you-go phones? Oh, and a phone that won't interfere with my iPod. Hate it when the volume just goes nuts and when the speakers makes those interference sounds. Oh, how I long for my old Verizon phone. No problems at all. I loved that phone. Wish I remembered the model...

I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but as you already realize, blogging is my therapy. I find that I'm not looking for an answer necessarily as much as a place to organize my thoughts. I space out a lot. A LOT. You have NO idea. Sometimes I look like I'm deep in thought. Nope. I used to carry notepads around because I had to write down stuff for that very reason. I wonder if that's why I tend to back away from friendships and relationships, for fear of being judged for being too pessimistic. Hmm...

I've thought about writing more theological thoughts in my blog. It's been a while since I've last done that. Create a third blog purely for that purpose. [the second being my professional blog on my website.] But I feel that the more blogs I have, the more scattered my thoughts, and I'll naturally abandon one for the other. So for the time being, they remain in my head, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Jane Zhang was on Oprah earlier this month. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!? Yet another event I missed out on. Today is the Relient K concert, but tickets are sold out. Soooo bummed. I keep wanting to see them live, but keep missing the opportunity. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to treasure my concert of the Wonder Girls even more, at least until the next concert date.

Speaking of date, nothing new to report. Dateless. I'm not going to say any more, otherwise I'll get a lecture from Teacher Kingsley, who'll say to, "Get over it."

A thought did occur to me though... If I WERE in a relationship, would I reveal it or hide it? I think one thing that the past year has taught me is that being overexcited about relationships IS a bad thing. You jump to conclusions and get very clingy. But then again, I'd like accountability for that very same reason. In the end, I'll probably talk to the same people I always talk to when it comes to relationships. You know who you are, and you'll be contacted at the given time. It gets weird when adults start asking you about your relationships. Parents and uncles in particular. Oddly, grandparents less so... Perhaps it skips a generation.

Well, that killed about an hour. Oh, random tangent. You may think that with all the blogging and social status updates that I do, that my WPM must be high. Nope. I stink. I think I'm about 50-60 words per minute on average. Go play typeracer to find out yours.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Fri, 22 May 2009 23:36:40 GMT

It's all over.

So THAT happened. American Idol is over. A new winner was announced - Kris Allen. I'm glad he won. He's the contestant that I bought the most songs off iTunes from. I couldn't stand the thought of that banshee Adam Lambert winning my beloved show. In reflection over this past season, I have to say that I was rather disconnected with many of the contestants as compared to seasons past, and it makes me feel reserved in getting tickets for this year's concert tour. I mean, I like Allison. I think Kris is a decent winner, though how well he'll do in the future is up to his talent. Anoop was a decent ballad singer. I think Adam and Kara spoiled it for me this season. You can obviously see the bias they had all season over Adam. And Kara just gets on my nerves, as I mention numerous times to my cousin Kingsley. Seriously, if Simon leaves and Kara stays, I don't know if I'll pay much attention to Idol... Or at the very least, I'll skip the judges comments aside from Randy.

But there's nothing else to watch on television now. At least not till football season. NOTHING! Guess I'll pass the time playing videogames.

So last year I tried 2 paid dating sites, the more "effective" one being eHarmony. (If you consider one date being effective.) I think I'm a year older and wiser, so I'm thinking about giving it another shot. I haven't confirmed any such decision, but just a wandering thought. What concerns me is that many people are looking for someone that's "stable". Obviously the path that I've chosen careerwise is anything but, so that's somewhat disheartening. I'll keep you posted.

The latest game craze for me is Plants vs. Zombies. I've beaten the game twice. It's basically a maze defense type game, but with neat graphics and a nifty theme song "Zombies on my Lawn" by Laura Shigihara.

The only DVDs that I want to buy right now are the 2 latest Bond movies. I recently rented the first movie starring Daniel Craig. I had watched the second film while in Shanghai, which gives the movie more meaning for me. If you know me, I'm all about sentiment and nostalgia. But like I was saying, fantastic films.

The next few weeks I'll be shooting graduation ceremonies. Shot one yesterday. I'll write more about that experience on my website blog.

That's all for now. I'm off to mow the lawn.